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Untitled by Daehyun Kim aka Moonassi

Can We Talk About Loneliness?

We currently live in a time and space when being alone is often condemned and criticized. Enough! It’s time to stop this stupid fight against loneliness.

Just because one doesn’t want to be tethered to someone or something doesnt mean that one is depressed, sad or an introvert nor frivolous either. It’s actually the opposite, by wanting to experience or experiment a quiet moment by yourself, one is taking the opportunity to pay attention and reflect on one’s emotions. To deal with our issues. To work on our fails. It’s a healthy exercise of great introspection. An unwind kind of deal for the soul.

It’s hard to be alone in a society that is constantly reminding you that by default, one has to be in a relationship or surrounded by people at all times. It is really daunting to think that because one wants to spend some alone time then one is instantly a sociopath, an outsider, an underdog, a weirdo. Aloneness, doesn’t mean that you are going to distance yourself forever, but rather, to take time to revitalize your body and clear your mind. To let you focus on what’s important and to shift away from others and to engage on YOU.

Embrace your loneliness’ that is what I demanded and said to myself a long time ago. Frankly, I wouldn’t [in a million years] be where I am right now or have discovered myself in the way I did, if it wasn’t for that time I came into my senses and proclaimed to the universe: “Stop” and went on to have a date with my inward self. Since then, I haven’t been the same. I became at ease with myself. Solitude became a nourishing component of my life.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind” — Albert Einstein

The point is: to focus on you and only you, that’s being alone. And being lonely is when you feel devastated even when you’re around tons of people. That’s right. You can be in a party and feel all by yourself. Maybe you feel lonely because you’re going through a rough patch. You’re depressed and hopeless. If that’s the case then go and seek professional help or resort to someone who you can open yourself up.

Don’t fret. It’s totally fine to take a step back and run away from people or situations you feel that you don’t longer fit or where your voice is not being heard. Occasionally, it happens that you are in a group of people that doesn’t support you or provide you with joy or tranquility, yet you stick around just for the sake of not being all by yourself eating that huge slice of pizza in the darkness of your living room. But, by not having a time for you, you are shrouding your problems in trivial conversations. You are escaping from your own troubles. You are sweeping them under the rug. Dealing with them in a secure space with yourself will ultimately set you free.

Isolation cures the soul, the heart-broken and the forgotten. Time with one’s own let all the bad things out, providing you with a new insightful perspective and this only happens if you truly listen to your thoughts and your concerns and recognize their role they play in your life.

Yet, this is something only you can do. Nobody is going to come up to your front door to hang you out a booklet or to give you a lesson on how to be ¨on your own¨. You have to brace yourself up and take the first step. Insubstantial gatherings and meetings are that: not substantial enough to make the move towards it. It’s not advisable to rely on social encounters to solve how fucked up you are or your life is. I’m not trying to say that you should isolate yourself socially and completely forever and at all times, but rather, to practice a regular session of temporary solitude to think deeply. To heal. To breathe.

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” — Robin Williams

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Journalist and multilingual researcher at your service. More stories on https://itsorge.com

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