“No, thank you”
“You’re perfect, but It’s not what we looking for at the moment”
“it’s not you, it’s me”
Anyone who has lived enough has been there. It has happened to us all. It always starts the same way. You have high hopes for a job that has the potential to become a dream one, and then you never heard back after the interview. You’re looking for investors to launch your ‘latest-edgy’ start-up, but an angel investor denies you financial support on the spot. You met someone ‘cute’ you like a lot, but that person cowardly disappears after the first date.
No reason to belabor the obvious. Rejection sucks. Period. Yes, it sucks the energy out of one’s soul. Puts one in a downward spiral of emotional discomfort and gets the best of us. The pain of being excluded is so real, it could even become physical. Rejection gets into our psyche, mood, and cognition. Rejection hurts like being punched in the gut with brass knuckles, especially after you’ve taken a leap of faith at your own risk.
“AARGH! AARGH!” That is the sound of frustration after defeat has invaded your body unannounced. All of the sudden your body is numbed with self-doubting thoughts, and whatever confidence you had, banishes.
Rejection has a toxic nuance to it. Like an open vein draining a high amount of vulnerability. Besides feeling unworthy, your own self is so trampled on that you don’t even know if it’ll recover its original shape anymore.
Greater minds over the centuries have gone through hell, failing resoundingly before getting their big breakthroughs and their highest peaks of achievement in their careers. Their secret? well, they persevered. They kept going. They believed in their dreams. They kept their heads up. They didn’t give up. So, why should you then?
Troubled times drive you forward in life. At the end of the day, nothing gets done if one is stuck in the past. Suck it up and let go compadre because attachments aren’t destined for success. I’ve had my biggest defeats every time I’ve jumped out of my comfort zone. Then, why in hell am I exposing myself to this kind of pain? Orge, are you a masochist? I might as well be, but exposure pushes you to the limit. Nobody likes to be turned down, yet the process of trial and error is imperative in order to achieve something in life. Basically, in order to thrive, one has to get beaten up a couple of times.
“Rejection isn’t failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected. It’s how you handle it that determines where you’ll end up.”― Richard Castle
Don’t let it hold you back
Don’t allow rejection to break your spirit or your goals. You are not going to be the first or the last human being to feel lost, miserable, or unwanted. Let alone, downtrodden by the system. Embrace it like there’s no tomorrow.
In life sometimes we usually think that when we get rejected, then that means we’re not good enough. Fortunately for us nobody is perfect or ever will be. You should ever strive for utter perfection, because when you do that, an expectation hole digs in, once you’re unable to fill it, you’ll feel empty, and a failure. Instead, think of yourself someone who is a ‘work in progress’. At the end, we all are unfinished pieces of work, always learning new things and approaches. Always striving for the better better of ourselves. So, do think perfection is the ultimate goal. Rethink failure as a gain, that way rejection won’t be able to hold you back.
Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” “What did I gain?”
Years ago, I was awful at job interviews, I always let my nerves get the best of me. Talked too much. And had no confidence whatsoever. After tons of disastrous interviews, I sat down and started to work on me. I asked myself: “What are you doing wrong?” “Is there something I could improve?”
So, I dried my disappointed tears and did something about it and turned to some friends for help. I invited them over and asked them to carry some mock interviews out. Once they finished, they told me something I didn’t want to hear. I wasn’t being my true self. I was faking it, but not making it. Had I not gotten all these rejections, I might have never become better at interviewing. Consequently I landed a job a month later — after more than a year on the hunt.
“I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That’s what keeps me going”. — Laura Kightlinger
Use rejection to build some resilience
Rejection most often proved to be an excellent growing experience, and even though at the beginning you might not see it, later in time you’d be grateful you didn’t land that job or get into that relationship. Remember, bad weather always passes over. Even when that pain in your chest gets in the way. Keep pushing yourself forward.
Tough skin is not an easy thing to build. To toughen up your spirit one would have to endure some hardships and beat-downs. It’s an ineluctable certainty, one that’s necessary for growth.
Nothing is worse than trying to avoid situations where you might get turned down. Instead, embrace the risk and go after what you want to pursue. You might not get it in the first try, and that’s totally fine. Keep trying. It’ll get better and after some time, you’ll not only get stronger and fiercer, but whatever you were pursuing will materialize as well.
If it’s hard to see it now, keep a positive mind. If it is meant to be. It’ll be yours.
Just because you’ve been rejected by one company or by somebody doesn’t mean that every company or everyone else will too. Don’t take it personally. Just think about all the awesome things you have to offer and try to illustrate those qualities. Be true to yourself and don’t try to become someone you’re not. That would be your biggest fail. Overcoming the fear of rejection is the first step to achieve success. Be ready to fight, to endure an unsteady road. Remember, we are in a world full of unforeseeable fates where you can expect ANYTHING to happen. Life isn’t scripted. So, be prepared. And please, do whatever it takes, but never, ever retreat.